In the past I was a big giver of my time, money, space, love, mind, body, and soul. Looking back, I now realize why I was upset after giving all those things away to people. It was because I never had any restrictions or boundries in place, no self-worth or compassion for myself. I would just give no matter how it affected me. I would fall in love without taking all the warning signs serious. I would give money to certain people knowing that there was a 99% chance I wouldn't get it back, and I really wasn't in the position to give it. I would let ungrateful people take up my space. I would give my heart to new people and overlook the fact they were just takers. I would allow people I cared for to use a smile behind their words to insult me. I also allowed people who continuously made bad decisions in their life dictate to me about the smallest choices I made.
Now as I stand in the person I am today, I can see why I was so bitter, angry, defensive and lonely. I had surrounded myself with negativity, fake love, fake support and fake acceptance because I didn't see the worth in myself. I also overlooked the ones who truly cared. I spent more time trying convince people to love me and took for granted the ones that did.
Looking in the mirror this morning, I couldn't help but shed a tear for her and for so many women that are allowing the same unhappiness to happen in their lives. As I am now blessed to meet so many women of all races, shapes and sizes, I pray I leave them with hope and a sense of worth. I pray they walk away ready to take control of the mess they created and start building a legacy of love, compassion, empathy, healing and peace for the girl in the mirror and pass that strength down to generations to come.
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